Boys Don't Cry
by Melara Yuhi
Summary: Duo has always had a way of turning the worst situations into things to laugh at. But what happens when he looses Heero to the war? Though soldiers may die, they still leave families behind. How do they react?


Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Warnings: Tissue alert, Character death. It's obvious in the first section.

Boys Don't Cry…

Duo wiped the oil off his hands as Hilde handed him the phone. "Trowa said it was about Heero." Duo laughed and wedged the phone between his shoulder and his ear before greeting his friend.

"Hey Trowa. What's up? I see you survived that mission." Trowa was silent for a moment. 'he probably forgot I don't have a vid phone in the shop. I can't see him nod.' Duo laughed at the thought.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing. Just an odd thought. Hey, could you hold on a sec while I put the headphones on? I have a big job I need to get done by this evening." Before Trowa could reply, Duo put the phone down and grabbed his headset. "Ok. Now, what's up? You don't normaly call to chat, seeing as you're not very good at it, unless you speak dot like Quatre."

"Duo… about the mission…" Duo could hear Trowa sigh heavily into the phone before continuing. "Heero was shot in the side. He died before we could get him help…" Duo was silent, knowing there was more to the story. He decided it was best to listen to everything Trowa had to say before speaking himself. He simply continued working on his machine. "…We're going to be holding the funeral next week."

"Oh shit!" Duo dropped what he was doing and lunged at a pile of small parts, tearing it apart until he found his laptop. "Not good… not good at all… I have final exams next week…." Duo went through all of the assignments he needed to complete before then, and sighed.

"Duo… they'll understand if you're out for the death of your best friend…"

"I know… I know… but that means I won't graduate until next year… when I can make it up…"

"…" Trowa was completely silent on the other end. Duo finally shut his laptop, and focused his attention on Trowa.

"Alright. I've booked a flight to Quatre's place. I'll be there tomorrow morning. I'll do everything I can to help you guys, alright?"

"Alright. I'll see you there, Duo. Take care." The phone clicked, and Duo ripped the headset off. This was going to be one mess of a week….

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Duo ran his hand over the red silk lining, looking at Heero's slightly messed up hair. He looked so defenseless when he was asleep. Duo's hand slowly traveled down the lining, and across the slightly rough fabric of the nice suit, then finally clasped around cold hands, neatly folded across Heero's chest. 'The white rose was a nice touch….' Duo ran his fingers over the soft petals and smiled.

"Duo?" A strong hand on his shoulder pulled the said boy out of his thoughts. "Are you alright?" Duo turned his smile toward Trowa. The smile was genuine, although it wasn't expected.

"I'm fine, but I'm a little hungry. I guess I should have grabbed something more to eat before we came…" As if on cue, his stomach rumbled, letting the room know that once again, Duo didn't lie.

"Yes…" Trowa's voice was absent, and he turned to look at Heero's body. "I'm going to miss him…" Duo shuddered and turned away from the coffin, suddenly realizing that no matter how much it looked it, Heero was not asleep. He was dead. "Are you sure you're alright, Duo?"

"I'm fine. I'm just gonna go look at the pictures Quatre threw together." Duo couldn't look at the body anymore. The thought of Heero dead just didn't settle with him.

"Duo." Wufei nodded his head in a typical greeting for him. He handed Duo a book and a pen. "You forgot to sign in." Duo nodded and signed the book, before putting his trademark symbol next to it. The letters DMS staggered slightly, and overlapping each other. He laughed when he thought about the first time Heero saw it. He couldn't tell what the M was because the top was concave instead of a 'v' shape.

"Q hasn't signed it either. I would have thought he would be the first…" Wufei jerked his head to the side.

"He's a little… occupied…." Duo followed the direction Wufei indicated, and saw Quatre standing next to one of the small windows in the room. His eyes were red, and he looked like he had been crying. Trowa walked up to him, and pulled him into a hug. The blond boy clung to him like he was the only thing keeping them alive. Duo snorted before turning back to Wufei.

"It's funny… I don't think it's sunk in for me yet. He doesn't seem gone…" Duo risked a look back over at the open coffin for the viewing. "He just looks like he's asleep…" Wufei nodded and turned away. Though the proud boy refused to show it, the death of his comrade was tearing him apart. Duo shook his head and turned back to look at the collage Quatre had thrown together to decorate the room.

'I remember that day…' Duo chuckled to himself as he looked at a group picture that had been put in the center of the board. It was a formal photograph containing Relena, her brother, and the five gundam pilots, as well as Une and Noin. The day the Preventers program was started. Duo had been sick that day, and had passed out during the second photograph. Everyone looked surprised, especially Heero, as he was the one who had to catch Duo before he smashed his head into the table in front of them set up for the signing. Of course, that wasn't the one that had been printed and given to the press, but Quatre had kept it. 'It's good to be a pack rat sometimes…'

"Please, everyone. We're going to move into the church for the blessing of the coffin." Duo left the room, then stood next to Relena as he waited for the coffin to be brought out of the tiny room. He was relieved as he watched the priest close the coffin, shutting Heero's form out of sight. It didn't occur to him that it would be the last time he ever saw him.

"Are you alright, Relena?" The girl shook all over, but hadn't begun to cry yet.

"I think so. I'll feel better later…" Duo nodded and took the girl into a friendly hug.

"He always thought of you as a strong woman."

"I know… but he was stronger…" When Duo pulled back, she saw that the tears had begun to fall from the girl's eyes. "I'm sorry. Do you have a tissue?" Duo nodded and pulled a tissue out of his pocket, then handed it to Relena, smiling.

"Everything will turn out fine. It always does." The girl never had a chance to reply, because the priest began to pray, sprinkling holy water over the top of the silvery coffin. Duo had requested that it was made out of the remains of Wing Zero. It seemed appropriate that the machine that Heero had risked his life for several times, and was saved by several more times, were a part of his funeral.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life, and eternal life, of Heero Yuy." Duo forced himself not to laugh as the priest talked. 'Eternal life. Hah! That's just a freaky way of saying 'oh, he's dead. so sorry, but we get dead people in here all the time. We know how to deal with it.'' Relena had decided to hold a catholic ceremony, for who knows what reasons. Heero was probably as far from religious as you could get.

Duo grinned at the priest as he looked at him. The priest just shook his head, and motioned for his two apprentices to push the coffin on wheels into the center of the church. The ceremony started as expected, and strange songs were sung, people were standing up, then sitting down, only to stand up again. The priest would sometimes make a small reading from his book (which was entitled 'A preachers guide to conducting funerals'. Oddly enough, there was no 'for dummies' at the end…).

"Sometimes, when a great grief has been bestowed upon us, we are confronted with emotions that we are unaccustomed to. Feelings like grief, despair, guilt, and relief. And the guilt that comes from having that relief…" At this, the priest paused, put his book down, and looked Duo in the eyes before walking down from behind his table. Duo, again, had to restrain himself from laughing as he thought about what the priest had said. The man continued to talk about 'eternal life' and how we 'didn't see the joys beyond the black curtain of death'. Duo had gotten his amusement under control, but was now struggling with a tickle in his throat. He needed to cough, but he didn't want to disturb the rest of the room, which was completely silent despite the fact that it was filled with people who had probably only heard of Heero once before, and were just here to make themselves look good with the Preventers.

"Duo, kneel!" Relena's harsh whisper in his ear snapped Duo back to reality, and he quickly kneeled down on the floor as a choir soloist began to sing one of the many versions of 'Ave Maria'. The priest began the process of giving communion, and there was much standing, kneeling, and sitting involved, that only proved to irritate Duo's throat more. Finally, as the priest was drinking the wine in the gold glass, Duo couldn't stand it anymore, and began to cough. He only meant to do it once to clear his throat, but he couldn't stop. He bent over, and put his hands over his mouth to try to muffle the sound. It didn't help that he was in the front row, three seats away from the coffin in the isle. He was getting dirty looks from the people in the choir, and some of the people in the back, whom he didn't know.

"Duo? Do you want to sneak around back and get something to drink?" Wufei reached down and rubbed his back, helping him to calm down. Once Duo was breathing normaly again, he looked up at Wufei with his stupid grin again.

"No, I think I have it under control now. Thanks." Wufei continued to look at Duo, making sure he wasn't lying, then turned to watch as people went up to receive their communion. None of the former gundam pilots did, but many of the Preventers who had tagged along did. Most surprising of all to Duo was Noin, who walked up and let the priest put the small wafer directly into her mouth. Duo chuckled lightly, but stopped when he realized it brought back the tickle in his throat. He spent the rest of the time trying not to go into coughing fits again.

At last, it was time to leave. Duo took a place as one of the ceremonial pole bearers, but was slightly disappointed when he found out they were just going to wheel the coffin out to the Catalac, which served as a hearse. Duo walked along side the coffin, followed by Wufei. On the other side stood Quatre and Zechs. Trowa watched, and walked next to Duo on his crutches. He had been wounded in his left thigh, and was having trouble walking.

Once the silver box was safely in the hearse, Duo joined with Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre to drive back to Quatre's mansion. All of the boys were silent. Quatre cried while Wufei was too proud to let the tears go. Even Trowa, who had never been sure of his emotions, seemed to mourn. All Duo could do was smile. He couldn't bring himself to cry, to feel sad or any degree of loss. He was sure it would hit him later, he just needed to wait for that to happen. For now, it felt like Heero had stayed home while they all went out to party, like so many times before. Only this time, Duo wouldn't go home to those blue eyes, or those warm arms wrapping around him as they slept…

~~~Owari~~~

Mel: I don't have many notes for this story. I just wanted to let you guys know that this is based on what happened to me today, when I went to my great Aunts funeral. You might not see why it should be such a big deal, but my great Aunt lived with us, and we took care of her because she was too old to be able to do it on her own. I, like Duo, am still waiting for the pain of loss to set in, but until then, I'll just have to go on with life, and let it take me where it leads.


End file.
